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I’ve always been incredibly undecided when it comes to the question of having children.

On the one hand, I’d love to have a child.  It seems like life would be almost incomplete without having at least one.  I mean, watching a mini-me (well, a mini-us) grow and learn and just generally live life seems incredibly fulfilling.  My life (and the life of my spouse) would be changed forever.

On the other hand, I don’t want my life to change!  I’m not a hedonist or particularly selfish but I want to be able to spend my time and money in ways that I want to spend them.  I’m working really hard to build a life for myself with which I can be happy — forever.  Bringing a child into my life will change everything.

This morning, however, Alex and I came to the decision that, when we’re ready for a child (as we will most likely one at least one baby by the time we’re 30 years old), we’ll adopt one.  There are several reasons for it.  The most important is my possible infertility due to my having Kallmann syndrome.  Doctors, though, have told me that I have a good chance of conceiving a child with fertility drugs.  However, fertility treatments usually lead to multiple births…  and I am not interested in raising several children all at once.

The other reason, which is actually probably more important in the grand scheme of things, is the fact that there are thousands (if not millions) of children in the world who need good parents and loving homes.  Why should I struggle to conceive one child (and possibly end up with several children) when I can adopt a child or two and really change his/her/their lives?

If there’s one thing I’m worried about with the adoption route is my family being supportive of my decision.  I know that I’ve always considered adoption as an option when thinking about my future — even before I was diagnosed with Kallmann syndrome at 18 years of age.  I’ve discussed this with my mother and she didn’t seem to have a problem with it.  However, she probably thought I was going to grow up and grow out of the idea.  However, the older I get, the more plausible I seem to find the idea of adoption.  I can only hope that everyone in my family — and everyone in Alex’s family — can understand our reasoning behind this decision and love our child just as they would any other blood-related relative.

But this is all in the future.  I need to focus on the present, like school and work and my upcoming vacation.  (Alex and I have decided to go to Amsterdam this summer.  We’re leaving on August 17th and coming back on August 25th!)  The rest will fall into place on its own, yes?

Suddenly, instead of booking a trip for DC this summer, I’m looking up flights for Amsterdam for next spring.

Alex decided that it would be wiser to save up for a “real” vacation, one that takes place outside the U.S.  If I can be guaranteed this vacation, I will gladly take Amsterdam over Washington, DC.  However, this trip would be considerably more expensive.  Alex and I only have about $800 saved up at the moment.  We would need another $2,200 before we can afford flight + hotel… and some food.  I’d want to have at least $4,000 put away toward this trip, just to cover all of our bases and make sure we’re never left without money.

Recently, I’ve been very conscious of the charges I make on my credit card.  If I don’t have to use plastic, I try not to.  (Of course, this may have something to do with the fact that my credit card company raised my APR.)  It’s so easy to lose track of what I’m buying if the cash in my wallet is not dwindling down to nothingness.  Especially when travelling, I try to bring cash so that I can refrain from becoming too extravagant.  Being in a different country — especially for the first time — is incredibly romantic, which is wont to make people do stupid things.

Bringing cash on this trip (which is still very hypothetical at the moment) will hopefully prevent some of those stupid things.

Now… back to planning this bad boy.  I need to buy a travel guide, talk to friends who have been to Amsterdam, and start making an itinerary.  (Hi.  Have I mentioned that I’m slightly OCD when it comes to planning trips?  I like to plan everything, down to the tiniest detail.  I leave almost nothing to chance — inclement weather notwithstanding.  I can’t control the weather just yet.)

Late last month, my mother went to Russia to visit her family.  (Her entire family — mother, 4 sisters, and 1 brother — all live in either Dagestan or St. Petersburg.)  Today, she and my father got into their car and headed towards Virginia.  A friend of the family is flying to Las Vegas tomorrow.  Her daughter left for Costa Rica two days ago.  My sister and her boyfriend are heading to Aruba in a week or so.  I can’t help but be a little jealous of everyone’s recent expeditions.

It’s been so long since I’ve been able to go away somewhere and relax.  I guess that’s what happens when one works 20+ hours per week and goes to grad school (taking 12 credits at a time).  The last vacation I took was to Montreal with Alex… and that was 2 years ago.  I haven’t been able to travel anywhere because of:

1. Lack of money
2. School responsibilities
3. Work responsibilities

However, I think I’m going to start planning a trip for mid- to late-August… in which Alex and I go to Washington, DC.  I’m looking at hotels, restaurants, museums, stores, bars, galleries, and libraries (oh hai LC) in the area.  I’m not willing to spend too much money on this trip… but I still want it to be nice.  The hotel that I am currently considering is $104/night (which is actually rather pricey by my standards) but it’s near the metro in the Dupont Circle neighborhood, so there are  a lot attractions nearby and I can easily get everywhere else.

Right now I’m trying to decide which mode of transportation to take to get to DC: car, bus, or train.  Taking a car would probably be cheapest but I’ll probably end up paying through the nose for parking.  (DC is not necessarily a car-friendly area.)  Hopping on a Greyhound bus is second cheapest but… ugh, it’s a bus.  Riding an Amtrak train to Union Station seems the most preferable because it’s quick (3.5 hrs) and it allows for passengers to walk around and stretch their legs.  (Buses are always cramped and loud… and prone to getting stuck in traffic.)  I’ll have to discuss this with Alex, I guess.

Coincidentally, I just ordered a digital camera and a mini-tripod on Amazon… so I’ll have a means of documenting this trip.  (I haven’t had a proper camera in about 1-2 years, since the lens motor on my Sony DSC-W7 crapped out on me.)  This trip is also special because this August is the 4th anniversary of my relationship with Alex.  Two years ago, we ran off to Montreal to celebrate… This year, we’re considering Washington, D.C.  We’ll be taking lots of photos, whatever we end up doing this summer.