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I am looking forward to the weather cooling down so that I can knit garments again.  Since I last blogged about my knitting, I’ve knit two berets, two baby sweaters, two baby bonnets, one men’s cardigan, and one lacy shawl.

Aside from the cardigan, everything has been relatively small.  And, coincidentally, the cardigan turned out to be a flop because it’s too small for Alex.  It’s a real shame because I worked really hard on it and it took me so long.  The shawl, which I started after the cardigan, was a great success, though!  It’s my most impressive project to date and I’m very proud of it.

I decided to ride off that success so I’m knitting another shawl.  This one is for myself!  (The previous shawl was for my mother.)  It’ll be a celebratory gift to myself on account of the new job.  This shawl is solid and large and warm… because offices (particularly library offices) get really cold.  (When it’s 100°F outside, librarians are sitting with space heaters under their desks.)  It’ll be nice to have something to throw over my shoulders when I get shivery from sitting still for long periods of time.

The next piece will most likely be a sweater vest for myself.  It’ll be another gift to wear around the library.  (What can I say?  I’m excited!)  It’ll be knit in transit to and from work, whether I stay on Staten Island (and have 4 hours everyday to knit) or move to Brooklyn (and have 2 hours everyday to knit).  I’m really hoping it’s the latter.

This whole commuting business is bumming me out.

I was actually finally getting used to the idea of spending time on public transportation everyday but then I went and made a schedule.  Now I get to see exactly how awful this will be.  I would be working 8 hours everyday and commuting 4 hours everyday.  My mother has been trying to convince me that it’s normal and doable but it seems unbearable to me.  However, when I went to speak with my supervisor yesterday, he pretty much told me the job is 99.9% mine.  The odds of finding another candidate with my qualifications, he said, are slim to none… so if I want the job permanently, it’s pretty much mine.  He also informed me that the library will only begin looking for a permanent person in Spring 2011, so I will have the job during that time, too.  In other words: this job is going to last me until at least May 2011.

Since my supervisor gave me the go-ahead to start my life, I am now looking for an apartment!  I have an appointment tomorrow to see an place in Crown Heights.  If all goes well, I’ll also be looking at another (cheaper!) apartment in Prospect Heights (which is where I really want to be).  I’m very excited!  I’ve wanted to do this for a very long time.

I have some exciting news: I got a full-time job! I am very excited (understandably!) but two things are stopping me from doing cartwheels in the streets: it’s not permanent and it’s located 40 miles away.

This is a substitute position. In a college setting, that means the library unexpectedly lost an employee and opened up a search to quickly fill this recently vacated position. This person, however, is not permanent. Instead, a full search (which can take months to complete) will be conducted when there is more time and resources. The person in the substitute position, of course, is eligible to apply for the full position so, in a sense, the substitute position may become permanent… but there is no guarantee of that. Unless a full-time person is found, the substitute position can last a maximum of 4 semesters (2 years) but needs to be renewed every semester. So, for the time being, I have a guaranteed 9-5 job until the end of January 2011. At this point, though, there’s no telling what will happen after that. That’s kind of exciting, right?

…Well, no, not really. Because I don’t know what will happen in 6 months, I can’t move on with my life. I can’t make plans and I can’t relax. The college where I will be working is located in a different borough forty miles from my current location. Commuting up there would take anywhere from 2 to 3 hours. And that’s just one way! Ideally, I would love to move closer to the job, cut my commute in half and live in a really hip part of NYC. (I currently live on Staten Island, the least hip place in the city. Anywhere from here would be a step up.) However, because nothing’s set in stone at this point, I can’t do that yet. What happens if I don’t get the job permanently in 6 months? And I can’t find another full-time gig in time? Do I have to come crawling back to my parents with my tail between my legs?  No way!  So I suffer in the meantime. I have to deal with a long commute from one outer borough to another. It’s also an expensive commute: $5.50 for the Express Bus into Manhattan and $2.25 for the subway to the Bronx, or $7.75 one way. That’s $15.50 each day — or $310 per month — on just the commute. If I look at it another way, that’s over 80 hours of reading and/or knitting time a month! Maybe I’d also be able to use that time to work on the article I’m trying to publish.

It’s so hard to look positively at this situation because I want so badly to move to Brooklyn. I even got into a heated discussion with my mother and sister yesterday over it. I was telling them how I was going to brazenly move to Prospect Heights, job security be damned. They, meanwhile, were trying to tell me to wait a while, build up a decent savings account (while I live rent-free on this godforsaken island) so that I’ll have financial security in the future. Near future, they stressed. I was in tears because I knew they were right but I really wanted out. (I told you I really want to move to Brooklyn!  I’m also still young so I’ve got a bit of a rebellious side that rears its head every once in a while.) It kills me that they’re right and that I have to stay on Staten Island for another 6 months.

I just have to suck it up and deal with it, I know that. And I will! I know that you have to work hard for what you want and that things aren’t always fair. I just needed to vent.