Just keep swimming

I’ve always been incredibly undecided when it comes to the question of having children.

On the one hand, I’d love to have a child.  It seems like life would be almost incomplete without having at least one.  I mean, watching a mini-me (well, a mini-us) grow and learn and just generally live life seems incredibly fulfilling.  My life (and the life of my spouse) would be changed forever.

On the other hand, I don’t want my life to change!  I’m not a hedonist or particularly selfish but I want to be able to spend my time and money in ways that I want to spend them.  I’m working really hard to build a life for myself with which I can be happy — forever.  Bringing a child into my life will change everything.

This morning, however, Alex and I came to the decision that, when we’re ready for a child (as we will most likely one at least one baby by the time we’re 30 years old), we’ll adopt one.  There are several reasons for it.  The most important is my possible infertility due to my having Kallmann syndrome.  Doctors, though, have told me that I have a good chance of conceiving a child with fertility drugs.  However, fertility treatments usually lead to multiple births…  and I am not interested in raising several children all at once.

The other reason, which is actually probably more important in the grand scheme of things, is the fact that there are thousands (if not millions) of children in the world who need good parents and loving homes.  Why should I struggle to conceive one child (and possibly end up with several children) when I can adopt a child or two and really change his/her/their lives?

If there’s one thing I’m worried about with the adoption route is my family being supportive of my decision.  I know that I’ve always considered adoption as an option when thinking about my future — even before I was diagnosed with Kallmann syndrome at 18 years of age.  I’ve discussed this with my mother and she didn’t seem to have a problem with it.  However, she probably thought I was going to grow up and grow out of the idea.  However, the older I get, the more plausible I seem to find the idea of adoption.  I can only hope that everyone in my family — and everyone in Alex’s family — can understand our reasoning behind this decision and love our child just as they would any other blood-related relative.

But this is all in the future.  I need to focus on the present, like school and work and my upcoming vacation.  (Alex and I have decided to go to Amsterdam this summer.  We’re leaving on August 17th and coming back on August 25th!)  The rest will fall into place on its own, yes?

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